We all have them...some just tucked in your pocket for another day. Sometimes we pull them out and gaze at them longingly...praying that they will someday be a reality. However, as we get older, I would venture a guess that they have been tattered and torn...the picture fading. It is too hard to make out the image...the image that you thought you were going to be. So, instead of carrying them with us, we have put them in a storage box with the rest of our memories. When we have time and are encouraged to clean house, we get the box out and open it to find the treasure. However, it is now a relic, one to reminisce over just like the note from Chrisse, your best friend from 1st grade. "What a wonderful time we had together! I wonder if we will ever meet again?" We don't think we will ...but deep down we hope we do.
I have pulled out the box. I look at the picture. I wonder if I need to mourne the loss of my dreams like a friend of mine has said he has done. I don't want to. There is still a pulse.
How do I reconcile the life I currently have and share with so many with a dream that I had when I as just a child? A child with few worries, responsibilities, and attachments. To be completely honest...when I became a NEW child of God, my dreams grew and took on more meaning. They were intense and resulted in what some would call neurotic behavior. I would do crazy things like get up a t 5:00 AM (I didn't have to be there until 9 AM) to meet a coworker that had a reputation for partying like a rock star...just so I could catch him alone to give him the Gospel of John. I was courageous and not afraid to do things on my own....I would sign up for the prison ministry. I would talk to everyone I knew about Jesus...even my family.... *gasp*! But I wanted more...I wanted a radical life shaken up by the dangers of serving God...by trusting him for my bread...daily. Trusting Him that he would save my life when I travelled to 3rd world countries. For His wisdom when I spoke to teen girls who were giving themselves away for a night of love. I would change the world.
Here is an essay that was published in Francis Chan's Book, "Crazy Love". I have included some of his comments as well:
“Since I Have My Life Before Me”
By Brooke Bronkowski
By Brooke Bronkowski
I’ll live my life to the fullest. I’ll be happy. I’ll brighten up. I will be more joyful than I have ever been. I will be kind to others. I will loosen up. I will tell others about Christ. I will go on adventures and change the world. I will be bold and not change who I really am. I will have no troubles but instead help others with their troubles.You see, I’ll be one of those people who live to be history makers at a young age. Oh, I’ll have moments, good and bad, but I’ll wipe away the bad and only remember the good. In fact that’s all I remember, just good moments, nothing in between, just living my life to the fullest. I’ll be one of those people who go somewhere with a mission, an awesome plan, a world-changing plan, and nothing will hold me back. I’ll set an example for others, I will pray for direction.I have my life before me. I will give others the joy I have and God will give me more joy. I will do everything God tells me to do. I will follow the footsteps of God. I will do my best!!!
Brooke Bronkowski was a beautiful fourteen-year-old girl who was in love with Jesus. When she was in junior high she started a Bible study on her campus. She spent her babysitting money on Bibles so she could give them to her unsaved friends. Youth pastors who heard about this bought her boxes of Bibles to give away. During her freshman year in high school, Brooke was in a car accident while driving to the movies. Her life on earth ended when she was just fourteen, but her impact didn’t. Nearly fifteen hundred people attended Brooke’s memorial service. People from her public high school read poems she had written about her love for God. Everyone spoke of her example and joy. I shared the gospel and invited those who wanted to know Jesus to come up and give their lives to Him. There must have been at least two hundred students on their knees at the front of the church praying for salvation. Ushers gave a Bible to each one of them. They were Bibles that Brooke had kept in her garage, hoping to give out to all of her unsaved friends. In one day, Brooke led more people to the Lord than most ever will. In her brief fourteen years on earth, Brooke was faithful to Christ. Her life was not wasted.
I pray that I will not squander the time I have been given!
I have to be completely honest here...I am being biased and one sided as I write. This life I currently have is wonderful. I am so grateful for all that I have been given. The Lord took a tattered and torn teenage love affair and turned it into a beautiful marriage. One of trust and true love. He took a heart of obedience and turned it to a insanely cute two year old daughter. I have a nice and safe home with 2 cars in the garage and friends and family that most would be envious of. I have a truly blessed life. I have been given much. The gratitude for all I have brings me to the place where I want to share it with others. God calls us to this.
From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked. (Luke 12:48)The Lord is asking...am I willing? Am I willing to break out from my everyday normal and dare to be the person i want to be...to look at my picture of my dreams daily and believe...no matter how tattered and torn they may get.
I am really interested to know if others have mourned their dreams and have moved on or if they too have found a pulse? Please leave a comment:-)