Monday, November 9, 2009

Am I Willing to Give Everything for One Thing?

It has been two weeks since I walked into that prison.

Two weeks since heaven brushed close against me.

I have been to the women's Franklin Pre-Release Center (FPRC) many times before with Epiphany Ministry, but this time I left with an uneasiness that has been by my side ever since.  My restless spirit that is trying to tell me something.  Something important.  This is the treasure found at the bottom of the ocean...the one that divers spend all of their time and resources to bring up.

It is important to know that this wasn't an ordinary weekend.  Epiphany (and all its name implies) never is.  Miracles of lives being resurrected from the dead happen here.  Broken hearts experience healing and restoration..desperation turns to hope...bitterness is overtaken by forgiveness.  Yes, this happens in the world around me all the time...but not in such a small concentrated period of time...not that I get to witness.  The power overwhelms me.  The power of Jesus Christ.   Which brings me to the point of the treasure.

It is a truth that I already know...that I have already found.  However, it will cost me something if I want to truly posses it fully.  It will cost me everything.  Just finding this truth, doesn't make it mine.    

A deep sea excavation is dangerous and costly.  Will it be worth it? 

I am usually not affraid to dive in and start exploring the depths of myself.  I want to make changes and knowing is half the battle.  However, this truth isn't that pretty and a little scary.    

You see....I think I am going to have to REALLY CHANGE!  I think God is showing me that I have been playing at being a Christian.  That I have talked the talk but have rarely walked the walk.  My husband and others would say that I am am being too hard on myself...that I am a who is never enough.  

There might be some truth to that, However, I don't want to stop reaching for the Life that I am supposed to be living.  Especially when Jesus Christ gave all he was and had to reach for me.

“The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field.
“Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls. When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it.   Matthew 13:44-45
I am the treasure and Jesus is the man who sold everything.  Gave everything...His life on a cross.   Shouldn't I be willing to give all in return?  With Joy!!